


Forget Me Not

by JeweledKoi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Early on set Alzheimer, Illness, M/M, Stridercest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeweledKoi/pseuds/JeweledKoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forgetting isn't usually something someone has to worry about, unfortunately when it's going to effect your everyday life it begins to become the top most worry. </p><p>A tale of how one Dirk Strider and his older brother come to accept and work through Dirk's early onset Alzheimer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me Not

TT: Dave, exactly when will you be returning home?  
TG: in a week if everything goes well  
TG: why? something up?  
TT: No. Just thought I’d ask seeing as it’s been awhile.

Alright, so maybe it wasn’t all that strange that his younger brother was messaging him about when he’d be back home; however, there was still a small amount of worry in the back of his mind. When the kid was younger, he’d always ask the same question if something was bugging him. A sure sign that Dirk was having some kind of trouble... though maybe things were different now, seeing as the so-called ‘kid’ was now twenty.

TG: if you say so kiddo  
TG: but yeah if things go as planned? a week at most  
TG: so dont worry that pretty little head of yours

That was honestly enough to satisfy Dirk, even if he really did have something that needed to be told to Dave. It’s just... how does one tell their brother/guardian that they are most definitely going to be losing their mind (along with several other things) as the years go by? And it wasn’t as if it was a normal case of ‘oh you’re just growing old.’ No, it was the case of ‘you have a rare medical condition that’s literally going to fuck you over.’

Breaking the news over some little text chat program wasn’t exactly the best way to go about things. That’d be just as bad as breaking up with a significant other over a text message in some text lingo like ‘We r thru.’ That’s just not how the younger Strider rolled, or the older for that matter. Of course, Dave was more of a person to short hand when needed. Just not on completely important subjects or with Dirk, unless the older was attempting to piss Dirk off.

Ah yes... brotherly love.

So how would he go about telling Dave? It wasn’t as if there was some nice and easy way to say he had Alzheimer's. No, there was no easy way to just slip that into everyday normal conversation. Maybe he could type up a note or some sort of flyer thingy explaining what it was. Or perhaps just keeping it to himself was far better. Dave didn’t need to know yet, but... keeping this all to himself was a horrible idea. Letting the unsettling thoughts of how he’d get through his days eat at his mind wasn’t a particularly appealing alternative not that it was strange for someone with the same illness to live a completely normal life. Yet, here he was, dreading that his life would no longer be the same, that anything he enjoyed would become far too difficult.

Why him?

Out of all the possible human beings upon this Earth, why him? He’d been gifted with a mind that could produce the most complex demonstrations of robotics and mechanics. Now, it feels like that gift was being stolen, like his life was becoming a curse. It was as if someone or something out there wanted to give him a taste of what he could never truly have.

Was it even fair? No, but then again, life wasn’t fair. A person just had to make due with what they were given... but why had he been dealt such a shitty hand of cards? Perhaps it was to offset the fame his brother gained. Is that how that works? Probably not. Even so, right now he needed some sort of scapegoat--something to throw the blame at other than himself. Not that he was to blame.

It sure felt as if it were, though. There had to have been some way to prevent it, yet nope, nothing. Here he was stuck as he were, and it was only going to get worse. And God did he not want to tell Dave, or anyone for that matter. Maybe he could run away. Run away from the problem until it crippled him. Of course, nothing good would come of that.

Nothing good would come from just sitting and dwelling on everything, too. Distractions--that’s what he needed. Those weren’t easy to come by. Not as of late, anyways. The blonde did have a current project going, but he was still waiting on a few select parts to arrive in the mail. Maybe some mind-numbing video games would help, but they weren’t as fun as when there was a brother by his side trying to shove him on the couch to win a match in some shit racing game or land a combo while he tried to recover from a hand slip.

Damn he needed Dave right now. Dirk needed many things, but Dave was at the top of the list. But he couldn’t have Dave... not for another week or so. Fuck. Well, he really was going to need a distraction at this point.

Asking Roxy for help probably hadn’t been his best idea. No, in fact, it was likely his worst idea, especially since it led to him standing in the middle of an animal shelter staring helplessly at the caged four legged creatures.

Pets weren’t exactly a thing in their apartment. Dogs would have been too much trouble; Fish tended to die quite easily. Cats? He had those when visiting their wonderful New York dwelling ladies. Yet cats would probably make the most sense, as rodents or birds just didn’t seem like the type of pet suitable for a distraction. Sure, hamsters and rats ran on wheels, but that was about it. Not too much appeal. Plus, cats asked for attention when they wanted it, and, well, playing with a laser pointer was always thrilling to watch at Roxy’s.

So cats. Not just one--he’d be getting a pair, hopefully. If not? Well, that was alright. Honestly, he didn’t want them too young or too elderly. And friendly was definitely a requirement. Possibly declawed as well... or at least ones that knew how to use a scratching post. His brother would be less than thrilled to find the couch shredded.  
Looking from cage to cage, nothing caught his eye. Not a single feline. How did the Lalondes go about choosing? How did anyone go about it? Did they just look at the animal and BAM connection? If that was it then Dirk was in for a wonderful time.

It took nearly twenty minutes to get through half the cages, yet no luck. None. He started thinking that maybe he shouldn’t get cats; maybe he should drop the idea. That is until two orange balls of fur pop up. Digging his phone from his pocket, he takes a quick picture and sends it to Roxy for her opinion. Not that it would matter, they were beyond perfect. They do get the Lalonde approval, and, well, that’s all he needs.

Well, that and everything else needed to take care of a cat and pay for them. Maybe he should have thought this out better.

Almost an hour later, he’s back at the apartment, toting two cats and everything there is to take care of them(according to Roxy). Both cats were sold to him for a special deal seeing as they were siblings, which was nice as Dirk didn’t exactly want to break the pair up. At the shelter, giving them names wasn’t something that had crossed his mind and once everything was situated and the two felines were free to roam he tried to think of some. Dave would probably want to name one of them, and the fatter one kind of suited his brother(in his opinion). The other he’d have to think about.

Sitting down on the floor, he watches the two interact and slowly adjust. It must be strange for them, but this was certainly better than some cage. He’d have to explain to Dave no more shitty swords in random places and remind himself of the same thing.

Apparently, the thinner one found one of the stray orange Fanta bottles that had yet to be cleaned up. As it plays with the plastic container Dirk can’t help but smile. It was kind of cute, no wonder the Lalondes had cats. Reaching over he bats the bottle. “I could call you Fanta for now. Fitting. You’re both all bright orange and what not.”  
Fanta seems to fit her, maybe that’s what he’d stick with. As for the other, he’d leave that for Dave. Speaking of Dave, hopefully the guy wouldn’t be too upset with him getting cats. But the apartment was just so empty without him and he couldn’t just call up Roxy and go over to her place. So cats.

Plus even Rose had some input. So that counted for something.

Untying his shoe he takes the string out using it as a makeshift toy for now. He bought tons of toys... he just didn’t exactly feel like reaching for one.

Play time lasts for about an hour or so before Dirk and both cats are lounging on the couch watching nothing but mind numbing television. If this was what having pets was always like Dirk was far from opposed to it.

The next week is unfortunately slow, so slow. The cats are definitely a nice distraction, especially when he’s about to crack and talk to Dave over the phone. But he manages to keep all information to himself. Then he gets a damn text on the day of Dave’s arrival.

TG: alright so things didnt exactly go according to plan  
TG: its going to be another week unfortunately  
TT: There’s no changing this?  
TG: no there isnt  
TG: you know if there was id be on it in a heartbeat  
TT: Alright. Is there any possible way to speed anything up?  
TG: possibly  
TG: why wont you tell me whats going on  
TT: It’s something that is better said face to face.

Dave let out an audible groan. Why was his brother being so difficult about this? What honestly could be bothering so him so bad that needs to be said face to face? Did his brother find some weird porn of him. Dear God. The elder Strider decided maybe messaging someone who was on more of a mental plane with Dirk would get him some kind of answer.

\-- [TG] turntechGodhead is now pestering [TT] tentacleTherapist --  
TG: lalonde i may need some help  
TT: Oh? With what my dearest Dave?  
TT: What could honestly be going wrong in the world of one Dave Strider?  
TG: somethings up with dirk  
TG: not like oh i have some new dick im chasing  
TG: or i set the apartment on fire something  
TG: cause kids smart enough to handle that shit  
TG: but like somethings actually bugging him  
TG: bothering him to the point its led him to say he can only talk about it face to face  
TT: I see. Perhaps it would be best to honor that wish?  
TT: I remember quite well that you had several occasions inwhich you only wanted face to face contact to speak of something. Even the phone wouldn’t do.  
TG: this is different lalonde  
TT: How so?  
TG: dirk is hardly ever bothered by anything  
TG: even nightmares dont get him like this  
TG: those usually are followed by a phone call yet this  
TG: this i cant get him to budge on  
TG: and im actually worried  
TT: Then try to get home faster. I understand your career forces you to be far from home for lengthy times; however, when events such as this appear, it is evident your job needs to just kiss your bright ivory posterior.  
TT: Your charge is far more important no? Even if he is of an age to care for himself.  
TG: thats the thing  
TG: i cant just leave  
TG: its just one more scene and then im free to go until they need me again  
TG: if one of the actors hadnt gotten sick to the point they couldnt even talk last week  
TG: this wouldnt have happened  
TG: id have been home  
TT: Understandable. All I can say is try to push the process to get out of there much more speedily.  
TG: rose  
TT: Yes Dave?  
TG: tell me do you know what is wrong with him  
TT: Honestly, no.  
TG: well thanks for being honest  
TG: got to go thanks for somewhat nothing  
\-- [TG] turntechGodhead ceased pestering [TT] tentacleTherapist --

Well that was exceedingly unproductive and uninformative. Not even Rose knew, which meant Roxy sure as hell didn’t. So then why was Dirk keeping this to himself? How important was it?

“That little shit better not be fucking dying.” The words come from clenched teeth as he gets up from his seat to head where everyone else on set was.

After the day of disappointment, Dirk wakes up to a message from Rose. Not completely odd, but not entirely normal.

TT: You’re brother is worried about you. What exactly are you hiding?

It wasn’t a question he wants to answer, and so he doesn’t. Sliding his phone back upon the nightstand, he curls up with Fanta and fat one. They’ve helped the loneliness, minimised nightmares and he’s remembered to feed them so far. That’s a few for the pro column when Dave comes home. Which hopefully will be sooner rather than later.

Sooner would be great, but it was highly doubtful. So highly that Dirk didn’t want to leave bed to do anything. That was a new one. Then again he did have two cute warm furballs curled up next to him. There was work to be done, yet that really put no motivation in him.

OK there really were things that needed to get done, and it would honestly look bad if he didn’t at least do something. With a sigh he maneuvered himself away from the cats, trying to disturb them as little as possible.

First things first bathroom. A shower might actually do him some justice.

Ninety minutes later, Dirk’s dressed back into pajamas. Like really fuck everything, who needs real clothes to just stay home all day? It wasn’t exactly like him. This whole past week hadn’t been like him. He’d gotten everything ready for Dave and was just waiting for the other to get home.

It isn’t for another week and a half that Dave gets home and Dirk isn’t even awake. However, when the director steps foot into the dark, quiet apartment he notices something is different. Confirmation in the form of two orange felines comes his way. When did they get cats? Why was he not informed they’d gotten cats? Had Lalonde been apart of this? Well he already knew that answer to that

Loosening up his tie and flicking on a light he notices a shadow coming from the hall and looks toward Dirk when he appears from the hallway. The kid looked hella tired. More than tired. Was he getting enough sleep? Did he even get sleep? It was hard to keep track of when Dave was gone for so long.

The younger Strider hesitantly froze in the frame of the hallway. Right...he had something to tell Dave, but was it honestly that bad? The elder Strider hopes to god not and if so well they’d get through it. No one was dying not on Dave’s watch.

But what if Dirk was?

“Sup Bro? Finally managed to make it home? Surprisingly at a decent hour to. How’d you manage that one?” There was a hint of bitterness to his tone, not that Dave was surprised. He couldn’t blame the kid, fuck he really need to lay off calling him a kid. Dirk was twenty not five. The guy was cute as shit at five though, snot bubbles and all.

“Things got hectic last minute, they shouldn’t need me for a good month or two. I had to wrestle five bears, two bearded ladies, and run through a seven mile long obstacle course with knife throwers to manage a ticket for something not late after noon.” Dave looks downward seeing a couple papers in Dirk’s hands. The kid was dying, and he had waited this long to tell him hadn’t he. “But other than that when were you going to tell me we had two new additions to our home?” He gestures towards the cats who were now sitting near his feet in curiousity.

A slight shrug comes from Dirk, “Thought I could use the company. Plus now we have our own feline friends and don’t have to fly ourselves out to our lovely ladies house every time we want some fluffy cuddles.” Dave’s brow creases, but he honestly doesn’t mind. The director did enjoy having a furry friend now and then and Dirk made a point. Less trips to see the witch and her cute little flying monkey were always welcomed

Shrugging off his jacket Dave gives a nod of agreement. “You could have messaged about them though. But I’m glad you got some company for when I’m out.” Dirk looks as if he wants to say something but is holding back. His fingers grip the paper in his hand almost crumpling it as if to say it was nothing important, but Dave knows better.

In favor of saying anything about the problem at hand, Dirk points to the bigger of the two cats. “That one is yours.” Dave cocks his head slightly.

“Why the fat one? And does it have a name?”

“He’s not that fat. And not really? I was waiting until you got home and all.” Dave gives a groan before reaching down and picking ‘his’ cat up. “Also the other is named Fanta.”

Petting the cat, Dave hums. “He’s totally fat. This cat could literally be disguised as a baby and no one would know the difference until they saw the face or he meowed. Also you get me the fat cat cause I’m fat isn’t it? Did I gain that much weight? I only picked up one damn twinkie.” Dave can tell Dirk’s just ready to throw his hands in the air and walk out of the room, it makes the older Strider smile.

“Jesus you aren’t fat. Okay maybe a bit, but like doesn’t old age make you gain weight more?” There’s a look of ‘are you fucking kidding me’ on Dave’s face but Dirk continues on. “Anyway no he’s your cat because he’s the more snuggly one. And it reminded me of you cause you are snuggly up the ass.”

“Awww you just called me snuggly. Yet still managed to call me fat. Aren’t you a wonderful brother?” Dave pets the cat in his arms as Dirk huffs. “Now why don’t you come snuggle my fat ass on the couch and tell me what the hell is going on finally.”

There’s a purse of lips from Dirk as he hesitates in the doorway. “You haven’t even taken off your shoes yet.” He just wants to delay it, but it’s not like delaying telling Dave would save himself. The longer Dirk waited the less time he’d have with just being normal with Dave. He hated this.

The elder Strider kicks off his shoes, sets the cat down and then opens his arms. Dirk continues to hesitates not wanting to get any closer to saying what was up, but he wants the comfort of his brother. He may be twenty but at this point he feels like a kid again who’s done something wrong.

It takes a moment before he moves and Dave can sense the hesitation which honestly didn’t put his mind at ease. He was worried, fuck he was deathly worried about what was happening with his baby brother. As Dirk got close enough to just lean against Dave, the other wraps his arms around him and gives him a squeeze. No words needed to be said to express how afraid either one of them were.

Dave pulls Dirk toward the couch; it’s a bit stiffer than it used to be. Dirk used to be lighter ,but that’s to be expected when you aren’t an adult. Plopping on the couch, brother in his arms, Dave snuggles up with his younger brother.

“I missed ya. Like holy fuck do I not want to go back. Everyone and their mother is stupid as horse shit. I don’t think anyone even attempted to learn what they needed to. Not that it matters. But still there should be some knowledge of the script y'know? I think baboons or even another type of primat-”

“Dave.”

The elder Strider was cut off with a soft but stern call of his name. He was just trying to ease into it. Apparently Dirk didn’t want that.

“Yeah?”

“I went to the doctors. Most things are fine… but not everything.”

And there it was. So it was something medical. His little brother could be dying and here he was two weeks late back home. God he’s an idiot. Dave should have just put everything on hold and flew back the first indication things weren’t alright. His eyes wander to the papers in Dirk’s hand. Instead of letting his brother out right say it, he reaches for the papers and wiggles them from Dirk’s grip.

Skimming, it was something he did at work. However, as everything starts to fall in place as he looks over the papers he slows. Not only because things were falling into place but because of the tears in his eyes.

Alzheimer's.

A rare form that happens earlier than normal.

How?

Why Dirk and not him? Dirk had so much… so much to live for yet, this cruel twist of fate happens. And he had waited to tell Dave. He’d kept it to himself for over a week. It all hurt, it all stung, it made Dave want to punch a wall and hug Dirk for eternity all at once. Yet all he could do was cry and try to understand why.

There’s a movement at Dave’s side and suddenly the blur that was the papers in his hands are gone. Gentle, slow touches to his cheeks wipe away the wetness before it falls. Soft shushes complement the touches to his face and he just can’t stop. His brother deserves better. The kid he fucking raised deserved the world and yet... yet the world was taking everything from him.

There were words being spoken but Dave couldn’t hear--not over his own sobs. He knew it was Dirk, but couldn’t bring himself to calm down enough to hear.  
Dirk is shocked by his brother’s reaction, to say the least, and it breaks his heart to see his brother like this. He knew it was going to happen, but he had still wanted to prevent it.. It was inevitable. Still, Dirk wishes he could shield Dave from it all.

“Dave listen to me. Shuuuussh. Listen. It’s… it’s not all horrible. There’s medication out there. It slows the process and I’m not too far into it yet. It doesn’t really fix any of this but, it gives us time. It helps even a bit.” It hadn’t hit him this hard, then again he had time to deal with his feelings. Wiping more at Dave’s tears he tries to get his brother to calm down, even just slightly.

“T-This isn’t fair. It sho-ouldn’t be happening. Not-t to you.” God this was hurting Dirk, so much. Dave wasn’t one to cry. He’d always been one to keep everything together but now he was the exact opposite. This was not what Dirk wanted.

After a pause Dirk looks down slightly. “Also if it’s alright with you could we keep this between us for the time being? Just… until things get worse.”  
Worse? No, no. It can’t get worse. His brother was perfectly normal, nothing was wrong. Dave was going to be in denial for as long as he can. Maybe he’d just miraculously become better. A guy could hope right? Right.

“Y-ye…” The word doesn’t come out so Dave just nods. Dirk takes that because he understands. If the tables were turned, he probably wouldn’t be able to speak either.

Pressing a kiss to Dave’s temple he hums softly. “We’ll get through this I promise.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm new to this and will figure out the color stuff for the pesterlogs/texting soon.


End file.
